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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are the rules from
the male side. These are our rules! Please note - these are all numbered "1"
on purpose.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you
leaving it down.

1. Shopping is not a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that
way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not
work. Strong hints do not work. Obvious hints do not work. Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost any question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we
do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in any argument. In fact, all
comments become null and void after 7 days.

1. If you won't dress like the Victoria Secret girls, don't expect us to act
like soap opera guys.

1. If you think you are fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes
you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not
both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it.

1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for
example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what
mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing", we will act like nothing is
wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you
don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really!!

1. Don't' ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss
such subjects as baseball, the shotgun formation or monster trucks.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round is a shape.

1. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch
tonight, but did you know men don't mind that. It's like camping.

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Some of these really hit home!! :rofl:
 

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:) those were pretty funny. All of those are true.
 

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