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951 Posts
Discussion Starter #1

8:00 a. m. Oh, boy! Dog food! My favorite!

9:30 a. m. Oh, boy! A car ride! My favorite!

9:40 a. m. Oh, boy! A walk! My favorite!

10:30 a. m. Oh, boy! Getting rubbed and petted! My favorite!

11:30 a. m. Oh, boy! Dog food! My favorite!

Noon Oh, boy! The kids! My favorite!

1:00 p. m. Oh, boy! The yard! My favorite!

4:00 p. m. Oh, boy! To the park! My favorite!

5:00 p. m. Oh, boy! Dog food! My favorite!

5:30 p. m. Oh, boy! Pretty Mums! My favorite!

6:00 p. m. Oh, boy! Playing ball! My favorite!

6:30 p. m. Oh, boy! Watching TV with my master! My favorite!

8:30 p. m. Oh, boy! Sleeping in master's bed! My favorite!


Day 583 of My Captivity:

My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.

They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal.

The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape and the mild
satisfaction I get from ruining the occasional piece of furniture.

Tomorrow I may eat another house plant.

Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while
they were walking almost succeeded; must try this at the top of the

In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again
induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair, must try this on their

Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body, in an attempt to
make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear into
their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little
cat I was. Hmmm, not working according to plan.

There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in
solitary confinement throughout the event. However, I could hear the
noise and smell the food. More importantly, I overheard that my
confinement was due to my power of "allergies." Must learn what this is
and how to use it to my advantage.

I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and may be snitches.

The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is
obviously a half-wit. The bird, on the other hand, has got to be an
informant, and speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my
every move. Due to his current placement in the metal enclosure, his
safety is assured.

But I can wait; it is only a matter of time...

3,050 Posts
Got both. The dog is a spaz and small enough to be a cat. One of the cats is big enough to be a dog.

951 Posts
Discussion Starter #4
I had 3 cats. cougar and peaches are fat and squeakers (the mean one) is thin b/c of the other two eat all the cat food.

I want a black lab but i can't have 1 at my new place they won't allow any pets. :cry:

Tim-- your sisters dog is so cute. :)

951 Posts
Discussion Starter #6
Zummie-- my mom has to shave her cat b/c of the nasty a$$ hairball that cat gets. but if they did it in fun so to speak . poor ***** cat. ya know they have cats like that and i think they are real expensive too. looks like a rat to me with big ears.

10,831 Posts
I've never seen anyone shave a short-haired cat before.. I used to have a friend with 2 persians and they used to get these really nasty mats in their hair so a few times a year they would get shaved -- the only thing left was the head hair the tails and the little furry legs.. the cats always looked like some sorta wacky squirrels.. I used to practically piss myself from laughing so hard when I went over to visit...
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