Quintessentially British thread

[jezport]

After the recent poor show from the United Kingdom, I feel that we should have a thread consisting of beautiful British conversation and possibly some fine British humour. No colloquialism and perfect grammar.

Here goes in the finest Queens English......

After my cup of tea this fine morning, I made the decision to wash my automobile. As it was frightfuly windy I had to wear my long johns, I did consider wearing my wind jammer.

[Shagmonkey]

When one woke up this morning, one decided to have a cup of cha whilst reading about ones shares in the Financial Times.

This afternoon one might have some buttered scones and cream before "Doing the Lambeth walk" down ones local

[JScullin]

You turn if you want to. The lady's not for turning.

[speed-demon]

well i'm not posh so STICK KETTLE ON PAL for me

[phil robbo]

I say chaps, this is frightfully civilised, one does fell proud to be British when one is quaffing earl grey and devouring muffins in ye olde tea shoppe.

[JScullin]

Fish n' chips, fish n' chips. Shine ya boots guv'na?

[FlamencoAssassin]

Anyone for tiffin?

[pwhitelock]

Fish n' chips, fish n' chips. Shine ya boots guv'na?

I love the way all yanks think everyone in England is a cockney. I think our film industry doesnt exactly do us any favours. Nar what a mean geez?

Oh dear one seems to have slipped ito some kind of local coloqualism.

[kanistre]

Sod off, wankers!

That's me favourite.

Quite!

[JScullin]

I love the way all yanks think everyone in England is a cockney. I think our film industry doesnt exactly do us any favours. Nar what a mean geez?

Oh dear one seems to have slipped ito some kind of local coloqualism.

Just like the British portrayal of Americans are rednecks & cowboys.

Git 'r duuuuun....