You know your from Ontario if:

[MaverickFlyer]

Jeff Foxworthy on Ontario:

1.If you consider it a sport to gather your food by drilling through 36 inches of ice and sitting there all day hoping that the food will swim by, you live in Ontario.

2.If your local Dairy Queen is closed from September through May, you live in Ontario.

3.If you instinctively walk like a penguin for six months out of the year, you live in Ontario.

4.If your dad's suntan stops at a line curving around the middle of his forehead, you live in Ontario.

5.If you have worn shorts and a parka at the same time, you live in Ontario.

6.If you have had a lengthy telephone conversation with someone who dialed a wrong number, you live in Ontario.

YOU KNOW YOU ARE A TRUE ONTARIAN IF:

1. "Vacation" means going South past London for the weekend.
2. You measure distance in hours.
3. You know several people who have hit a deer more than once.
4. You often switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day and then back again.
5. You can drive 110 kph through 2 feet of snow during a raging blizzard, without flinching.
6. You design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.
7. Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow.
8. You know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter and road construction.
9. Your idea of creative landscaping is a statue of a deer next to your blue spruce.
10. Down South to you means Cleveland ...
11. Your 1st of July picnic was moved indoors due to frost.
12. You have more miles on your snow blower than your car.
13. You find 0 degrees "a little chilly."
14. You actually understand these jokes, and you forward them to all your Ontario friends.

Got any more? :rofl:

[cougarprophet]

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

[michcougar]

i have more....:rofl:

1. Only in Canada......can a pizza get to your house faster
than an ambulance.
2. Only in Canada......are there handicap parking places in
front of a skating rink.
3. Only in Canada......do drugstores make the sick walk all
the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.
4. Only in Canada......do people order double cheese burgers, large fries, and a diet Coke.
5. Only in Canada......do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.
6. Only in Canada......do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.
7. Only in Canada......do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place.
8. Only in Canada......do we buy hot dogs in packages of twelve and buns in packages of eight.
9. Only in Canada......do we use the word 'politics' to describe the process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures'.
10.Only in Canada......do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.

You know you're from Canada when ...
1. You only know three spices: salt, pepper and ketchup.
2. You design your Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.
3. The mosquitoes have landing lights.
4. You have more miles on your snow blower than your car.
5. You have 10 favourite recipes for moose meat.
6. Canadian Tire on any Saturday is busier than the toy stores at Christmas.
7. You live in a house that has no front step, yet the door is one meter above the ground.
8. You've taken your kids trick-or-treating in a blizzard.
9. Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled in with snow.
10.You think sexy lingerie is tube-socks and a flannel nightie with only 8 buttons.
11.You owe more money on your snowmobile than your car.
12.The local paper covers national and international headlines on 2 pages, but requires 6 pages for hockey.
13.At least twice a year, the kitchen doubles as a meat processing plant.
14.The most effective mosquito repellent is a shotgun.
15.Your snowblower gets stuck on the roof.
16.You think the start of deer season is a national holiday.
17.You head south to go to your cottage.
18.You frequently clean grease off your barbecue so the bears won't prowl on your deck.
19.You know which leaves make good toilet paper.
20.The major parish fund-raiser isn't bingo; it's sausage making.
21.You find -40C a little chilly.
22.The trunk of your car doubles as a deepfreeze.
23.You attend a formal event in your best clothes, your finest jewellery and your Sorels.
24.You can play road hockey on skates.
26.The municipality buys a Zamboni before a bus.
27.You understand the Labatt Blue commercials.
28.You perk up when you hear the theme from "Hockey Night in Canada".

>>>>Whatever it is... at least I'm PROUD TO BE CANADIAN!!!!

[MaverickFlyer]

Nice, I think I've seen those before! :rofl:

[ShadowCat]

I've got lots of jokes but they're not Ontario/Canada specific....

[crazyoldcougar]

:rofl:

[jaged]

from the darwin awards

According to police in Windsor, Ontario, Daniel Kolta, 27, and Randy Taylor, 33, died in a head-on collision, thus earning a tie in the game of chicken they were playing with their Snowmobiles.

[MaverickFlyer]

from the darwin awards

According to police in Windsor, Ontario, Daniel Kolta, 27, and Randy Taylor, 33, died in a head-on collision, thus earning a tie in the game of chicken they were playing with their Snowmobiles.

I was going to post that here to, or maybe over in MC-NECO! :rofl:

[ND4SPD]

2. You measure distance in hours. TRUE!
3. You know several people who have hit a deer more than once. TRUE! - :rofl: Dan!
8. You know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter and road construction. TRUE!
13. You find 0 degrees "a little chilly." TRUE!

[MUSKOKN]

You wear flip-flops in the snow!!!