Another funny from yours truly ;) [Archive]

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LostRacer

12-05-2003, 08:01 PM

>A woman stopped by unannounced at her recently married son's
>house. She rang the doorbell and walked in. She was shocked to
>see her daughter-in-law lying on the couch, totally naked. Soft
>music was playing, and the aroma of perfume filled the room.
>"What are you doing?" she asked.
>"I'm waiting for my husband to come home from work," the
>daughter-in-law answered.
>"But you're naked!" the mother-in-law exclaimed.
>"This is my love dress," the daughter-in-law explained.
>"Love dress? But you're naked!"
>"My husband loves me to wear this dress," she explained. "It
>excites him to no end. Every time he sees me in this dress, he
>instantly becomes romantic and ravages me for hours on end. He
>can't get enough of me."
>The mother-in-law left. When she got home, she undressed,
>showered, put on her best perfume, dimmed the lights, put on a
>romantic CD, and lay on the couch waiting for her husband to
>arrive. Finally, her husband came home. He walked in and saw
>her lying there so provocatively.
>"What are you doing?" he asked.
>"This is my love dress," she whispered, sensually.
>"Needs ironing," he said. "What's for dinner???"

:rofl:

BRANDY

12-05-2003, 10:44 PM

LOL

fresnocougar

12-07-2003, 05:12 PM

wow that remind me of my ex:beer::hitit:

TheChauffer

12-08-2003, 02:36 PM

ha! ironing! HA HA! I'm going to steal that joke!

ignernt

12-09-2003, 01:07 AM

So where's the funny? :shrug:

DEVIOUSDEV

12-09-2003, 03:14 AM

Oh wait, I get it... shes having an affair with her DryCleaner right? And so the clothes didn't get fully pressed.... oh man, thats some funny ish :rofl:

LostRacer

12-09-2003, 04:53 AM

:cry:

DEVIOUSDEV

12-09-2003, 05:08 AM

Don't cry... not everybody can appreciate the finer points of DryCleaner humor, but you and me T, we are Enlightened thinkers...

NorCalCoug

12-09-2003, 05:23 AM

The only way you two would ever be enlightened is if someone rammed a lightbulb up your asses.

LostRacer

12-09-2003, 05:27 AM

Originally posted by: NorCalCoug
The only way you two would ever be enlightened is if someone rammed a lightbulb up your asses.

And you know this by...........

Experience?

:cover:

ov3n

12-09-2003, 10:06 AM

hes chinese, they do wierd stuff ya know

ignernt

12-09-2003, 12:33 PM

Now do you do the ironing before or after the light bulb insertion? :biggrin:

TheChauffer

12-09-2003, 02:47 PM

during!

flummox

12-09-2003, 08:47 PM

your funny... lookin! :cover: :banana: :)

Ill contribute a joke:

A city cop was on his horse waiting to cross the street when a little girl
named Mary on her new shiny bike stopped beside him.
"Nice bike" the cop said "did Santa bring it to you?"
"Yep," the little girl said, "he sure did!"
The cop looked the bike over and handed the girl a $20 ticket for a safety
violation. The cop said, "Next year tell Santa to put a reflector light on
the back of it."
The young girl looked up at the cop and said, "Nice horse you got there
sir,
did Santa bring it to you?"
"Yes, he sure did," chuckled the cop.
The little girl looked up at the cop and said, "Next year tell Santa the
dick goes underneath the horse, not on top."

LostRacer

12-10-2003, 12:08 AM

:rofl:

NorCalCoug

12-10-2003, 07:54 AM

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

ShinyBlackCat

12-10-2003, 04:54 PM

:thumbsup::rofl:

Kinda ironic, I just got a speeding ticket today by a dick of a cop.:(

LostRacer

12-10-2003, 06:54 PM

Originally posted by: ShinyBlackCat
:thumbsup::rofl:

Kinda ironic, I just got a speeding ticket today by a dick of a cop.:(

how bad? :(

ShinyBlackCat

12-10-2003, 11:11 PM

41 in a 25. I was literally like 4 seconds from pulling into my school parking lot, and the cop was parked in a SafeWay parking lot. He pulled right behind me as I parked and gave me a ticket.

vizual

12-10-2003, 11:15 PM

damn that sucks yo :(

LostRacer

12-11-2003, 03:20 AM

damn pigs :mad:

KoRnBrEaDsCoUg

12-12-2003, 08:59 AM

Nah peep this crap, i made a left turn into a gas station without using my turn signal, my g/f and i were getting out of my car and we noticed the cop pulling in, he blinded us and told us to get back in the car, well im thinking WTF ?? He comes up to me ask me the reg BS and takes my DL, INS, REG to his car, comes back and asks me why i have a north carolina drivers license, i told him cause im stationed out here for the Navy, He said "Well son you should be really proud of yourself for fighting for your nation during this emotional and critical time!!! Heres your ticket, have a nice night!!!" I was like gee thanks PIGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!!:kick:

LostRacer

12-12-2003, 10:23 AM

Originally posted by: KoRnBrEaDsCoUg
Nah peep this crap, i made a left turn into a gas station without using my turn signal, my g/f and i were getting out of my car and we noticed the cop pulling in, he blinded us and told us to get back in the car, well im thinking WTF ?? He comes up to me ask me the reg BS and takes my DL, INS, REG to his car, comes back and asks me why i have a north carolina drivers license, i told him cause im stationed out here for the Navy, He said "Well son you should be really proud of yourself for fighting for your nation during this emotional and critical time!!! Heres your ticket, have a nice night!!!" I was like gee thanks PIGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!!:kick:

Hey, that story is really touching and all:cry: I feel your pain man tha really sux. On a side note, how about hookin a brother up wit dat spare hood of yours ;)

bmichel

12-12-2003, 02:50 PM

ha.. i got a 41 in a 25 ticket once.....pretty expensive.

DEVIOUSDEV

12-12-2003, 03:18 PM

Got a 93 in a 65 once.... Thanks TheChauffer :thumbsup:

ShinyBlackCat

12-12-2003, 03:53 PM

I got a 74 in a 35 once. The cop got a kick out of the fact that I was trying to dry the car after washing it at one of the do it yourself places.:)

KoRnBrEaDsCoUg

12-12-2003, 04:26 PM

http://www.mdneco.com/smile/greddy.gif i might have gotten the extra hood when i bought the car, but i still paid for it one way or the other. So i found out that CC is selling it for 699+s/h, so ill sell mine for 650 including s/h.

LostRacer

12-12-2003, 04:32 PM

No speeding ticks yet*knocks on wood*

bmichel

12-12-2003, 08:37 PM

Yea but what about them annoying :bs: tickets?? Like the one i almost got when i went, well i should say tried, to joes house?? My windows being tinited to dark, or the exhaust being to loud or the stereo being too loud???

BRANDY

12-12-2003, 10:46 PM

My favorite one..... oh wait I mean my only one ;)

No front license plate, I mean sure I guess the fix it ticket was better that the reckless driving, illegal intake and going 95 in a 65 ticket he could have given me, but gee what nerve he had.