relationship advice..

[IH8CIVX]

Girls and guys imput needed...

So your with a girl for 3 years. Everything goes smooth. Everythings so good you even buy an engagmnet ring. You ask her dad for permission..he says he'd like you to wait. So you do.

8 months later everything is still wonderful. I just went to visit her over the weekend and everything was fantastic. I get home, and the very next night (last night) she tells me..."I think we need a break". I go bizerk. I tell her how pissed I am being that I just spent a weekend there and nothing was said. Shes been at school (Syracuse 4 hours away) and didnt say one word. Our pictures arent up..nothing. She tells me that shes just confused about things and doesnt know if Im supposed to be a part of her future and she needs some space. I get pissed..hang up. 2 hours later I get a message:

"I'm sorry, never meant to hurt you. Ur the most caring person in the world. I feel like im dragging u through the mud b/c Im confused about my own life, you have everything planned out and know exactly what u want, and i know Im only 2 years younger but Im only 21 and I have no idea what Im doing. I care about you so much as a person that I dont want to just drag around and hurt you. Im sorry."


I dont know if i should answer the phone, or ignore it. If i answer what do I say. Ive been through one bad 5 year break up before and theres no way I could handle another one. I feel sick to my stomach and could honestly throw a 22 to my head right now.

[Upper90]

There is a term that Curtis and I used in College for times like these....

"I DIG CHICKS"

it helps to say that out loud a little.

The only advice I can give you is give her her space. I would answer the message. But DO NOT Call her and call her...txt her....txt her when you drink or any of that. IT WILL only push her away. It is such a gray area...you need to let her know you are still there but don't bug her. I am guessing there is a lot of pressure from the 'rents, school, friends, and she is trying to figure it out. IF you want any chance for her to decide you are in her future....you must give her her space. I know from experience a few times and plenty of my friends. Good luck and you know how to reach me if you need to.

[CincyZetec]

dude that sux, sorry to hear that. i definately agree, give her the space but still show her u care and are there for her. dont go ballistic and get all "needy" that'll probly make her lean away from u. just take things easy. hope things work out for u.

p.s. don't start thinking about a 22. even saying that kinda stuff can make the situation between u 2 worse. just relax, take a day or 2 away from her to get some space of ur own and just think things thru. the time for both of u could be a good thing for both of u.

[cougirllp]

I'm sorry to hear that Adam. I agree with Keith. If she wants a break, give it to her. And keep in mind, she only said a break. She is pretty young to be in such a serious relationship. She's probably just scared. I'm sure she'll come to her senses though :)

[YOSLVR442]

i hate to see you go through this but it happens. ive been through it and its not fun at all. Had the same thoughts and let me tell you it doesnt help the situation, it didnt make me feel any better it either. Just walk away hangout with friends and give her her space. She is 21 and thats the age for stuff like this come up. Its not unnatural thats for sure. i would call her so often and still say Hi and talk a little. I wouldnt call every day tho unless she calls you then answer. have nice calm conversations and try not to lose your head while you are talking and bring up the fact that she is being this way. trust me it makes things WAY worse and you only feel more angry after. give me a call if ya want.

[IH8CIVX]

ive given her space...and shes called me asking politely to call her back. We talked for a good hour and she appligized for the term "break". She just wants us to chill on the amount of pressure we put on each other to have a "perfect" relationship. She made some great points and we're still the same old boyfriend girlfriend. We just have some hurdles to help each other with. Keith was there during the last break up and some of the extreme lows that I hit, so I came here first. I thank you guys...esp Wade for the edit...He knows how I feel about that :)

Ill keep you guys updated.

[cougirllp]

Good to hear that things are well :) You guys seem great together!

[Upper90]

VERY Glad to hear Adam. Now...if only my wife would listen to me like you did :)

I called you last week and you won't call me back :cry: j/k