branchedout
07-29-2007, 07:29 PM
Hey all, I found this on somebody's myspace, so I take no credit for it, but it made me chuckle, so I figured I'd pass it along! :)
Mike.
1. Turn signals will give away your next move. A real Florida driver never uses them.
2. Under no circumstance should you leave a safe distance between you and the car in front of you, or the space will be filled in by somebody else, putting you in an even more dangerous situation.
3. The faster you drive through a red light, the smaller the chance you have of getting hit.
4. Never, ever come to a complete stop at a stop sign. No one expects it and it will result in you being rear-ended.
5. Never get in the way of an older car that needs extensive bodywork, especially someone from Florida or Georgia. With no- fault insurance the other guy doesn't have anything to lose.
6. Braking is to be done as hard and late as possible to ensure that your ABS kicks in, giving a nice, relaxing foot massage as the brake pedal pulsates. For those of you without ABS, it's a chance to stretch your legs.
7. Never pass on the left when you can pass on the right. It's a good way to prepare for people entering the highway.
8. Speed limits are arbitrary figures, given only as a suggestion and are apparently not enforceable in any County during rush hour.
9. Just because you're in the left lane and have no room to speed up or move over doesn't mean that a Florida driver flashing his high beams behind you doesn't think he can go faster in your spot.
10. Always slow down and rubberneck when you see an accident or even someone changing a tire. This is seen as a sign of respect for the victim.
11. Learn to swerve abruptly. Florida is the home of high-speed slalom driving.
12. It is traditional in Florida to honk your horn at cars that don't move the instant the light turns green.
13. Remember that the goal of every Florida driver is to get there first by whatever means necessary.
14. In Florida, 'flipping someone the bird' is considered a polite salute. This gesture should always be returned.
15. If you are in the right hand lane and all of a sudden find you need to make a left hand turn, be sure to slow down before you cut across the lanes. This insures that every car behind you(in all the lanes) realizes how important you are. It also informs everyone that your car is incapable of proceeding ahead and doing a U-turn.
16. (for the tourists) It's perfectly ok to browse through a map while you are driving. It's not practical to waste time pulling to the side of the road. There's no need to focus on the map (or road), plus you have to hurry cuz there's only a couple of attractions in Florida, and they all close at 5:00pm.
17. At a 4(or 3) way stop, it doesn't matter when you get there, whoever is faster goes first. You can usually recognize the car by the loud music that's rattling their trunk, and the driver's overwhelming arrogant presence .
18. On I-4 (or other multi-lane highways) the left hand lane is the slow lane, don't let that person tailgating you and flashing his brights tell you different. (also refer to ..9)
THANK YOU & HAVE A SAFE JOURNEY
Mike.
1. Turn signals will give away your next move. A real Florida driver never uses them.
2. Under no circumstance should you leave a safe distance between you and the car in front of you, or the space will be filled in by somebody else, putting you in an even more dangerous situation.
3. The faster you drive through a red light, the smaller the chance you have of getting hit.
4. Never, ever come to a complete stop at a stop sign. No one expects it and it will result in you being rear-ended.
5. Never get in the way of an older car that needs extensive bodywork, especially someone from Florida or Georgia. With no- fault insurance the other guy doesn't have anything to lose.
6. Braking is to be done as hard and late as possible to ensure that your ABS kicks in, giving a nice, relaxing foot massage as the brake pedal pulsates. For those of you without ABS, it's a chance to stretch your legs.
7. Never pass on the left when you can pass on the right. It's a good way to prepare for people entering the highway.
8. Speed limits are arbitrary figures, given only as a suggestion and are apparently not enforceable in any County during rush hour.
9. Just because you're in the left lane and have no room to speed up or move over doesn't mean that a Florida driver flashing his high beams behind you doesn't think he can go faster in your spot.
10. Always slow down and rubberneck when you see an accident or even someone changing a tire. This is seen as a sign of respect for the victim.
11. Learn to swerve abruptly. Florida is the home of high-speed slalom driving.
12. It is traditional in Florida to honk your horn at cars that don't move the instant the light turns green.
13. Remember that the goal of every Florida driver is to get there first by whatever means necessary.
14. In Florida, 'flipping someone the bird' is considered a polite salute. This gesture should always be returned.
15. If you are in the right hand lane and all of a sudden find you need to make a left hand turn, be sure to slow down before you cut across the lanes. This insures that every car behind you(in all the lanes) realizes how important you are. It also informs everyone that your car is incapable of proceeding ahead and doing a U-turn.
16. (for the tourists) It's perfectly ok to browse through a map while you are driving. It's not practical to waste time pulling to the side of the road. There's no need to focus on the map (or road), plus you have to hurry cuz there's only a couple of attractions in Florida, and they all close at 5:00pm.
17. At a 4(or 3) way stop, it doesn't matter when you get there, whoever is faster goes first. You can usually recognize the car by the loud music that's rattling their trunk, and the driver's overwhelming arrogant presence .
18. On I-4 (or other multi-lane highways) the left hand lane is the slow lane, don't let that person tailgating you and flashing his brights tell you different. (also refer to ..9)
THANK YOU & HAVE A SAFE JOURNEY